My neighbor died recently at the age of 97½ and in mourning with her family, here’s what I learned. Maybe I had actually learned all this earlier in my life – or should have, anyway – and just needed to be reminded of it again.
• Appreciate your family.
My neighbor’s nieces greeted everyone after the funeral and were as gracious as can be. Their appreciation for their aunt – her life and her beliefs and her interests – was so clearly evident. How many of us will keep extended family so much a part of our lives?
• Keep your friends close.
Two of my neighbor’s friends, woman of advanced years as well, went to high school with her and live in the same apartment building. How amazing is that! How many of us will keep high school friends well into our 90s? What a testament to friendship.
• Make new friends.
Although we were decades apart in age, my neighbor and I shared a love of books and we often discussed what we were reading. How many of us will make an effort to make new friends when we are in our late 80s?
• Share with others.
My neighbor was always giving me books – or sometimes just lending them to me – and donating jewelry to an annual sale that I run for charity. Can we all start giving away our things now, to those who appreciate the items, rather than wait for later?
• Stuff is just stuff.
At the estate sale, my neighbor’s stuff was just stuff. What seeing the things did, though, was prompt stories from people who knew her. We were all keeping – and sharing – the memories as we let the stuff go. Can we all remind ourselves that these things are all just things and that what matters most is the people in our lives?
We learned some of these lessons, and more, when we were interviewing people for our book Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family Home, which will be available soon – very soon – as an e-book. Stay tuned!
≈Linda Hetzer is an editor and author of books on home design, crafts, and food, and coauthor of Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family Home.
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